You're Gonna Miss This

Every time we have a rough night, I sing the song, "You're going to miss this" by Trace Adkins. 

The chorus goes:

You're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

So take a good look around 

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this. 

No truer words. It's 4:30 and I am pumping. I usually pump around 5-5:30 but I've been awake all night and Nick just left to Arizona for a guys gulf trip. My sweet Knox has been up ALL night. I honestly don't think he's gotten a wink of sleep. 

We went to bed late because Nick was up late packing. He had gotten his hair cut and ran a few errands after we put the boys down and didn't get home until close to 10 anyway. We ate dinner and then fell asleep watching a show. I woke up when my pump turned off. Oops!

Knox began waking up around 12:45. I don't know why but I think it may be the woombie he is in. I think it gives him too much room and he wakes himself up. Or it could be a growth spurt or teething or just a random bad night. I don't know but I was up every 30 minutes with him. I replaced his pacifier multiple times, flipped him over from his tummy back to his back multiple times, and at 3 I tried breastfeeding him. He ate for about 15 minutes and I put him down. 30 minutes later he was wide awake and crying again. I gave him a bottle that Nick made and he was still wide awake. I laid him in his crib and he turned himself over from his back to his belly again. I replaced his paci a few more times and finally gave in and gave him half a dose of Benadryl. The poor kid has had a runny nose for about a week and a half now and he was sniffling like crazy after crying. It's been about 20 minutes now so we will see if he wakes again. 

As all of this was happening, internally I was mixed with emotions. I was confused as to why he was having such a bad night when he didn't sleep much according to Lena, yesterday. I was dead tired after working all day and staying up way too late. I was feeling sorry for my baby because I know he's tired and I don't know why my interventions aren't  helping him. I was upset that I couldn't figure out what was wrong. But mostly, I choose to embrace this time. As the chorus says, "you're gonna miss this."  One day my babies won't wake up needing me through the night. I know that in the blink of an eye, they are going to be graduating from high school, going to college, and then they will be getting married and having kids of their own. These moments are just teeny tiny moments in the grand scheme of life. I may be utterly exhausted but I'm not going to lie. I loved cuddling my nugget and kissing him and telling him how much he is loved. The days may be long but the years are short. 

I love you LPs. I will take sleep deprivation any day knowing that I have the two of you to love and cherish daily.