"The Mother's Blessing Ceremony, also known as The Blessingway or Blessing Way Ceremony originates from the Navajo people. It is a very positive ritual, affirming that a woman will have a safe and beautiful birth experience. The ceremony marks a woman's rite of passage. It is a ceremony of empowerment near the time of birthing. Within a circle of friends in a quiet, gentle, spiritual ceremony, those attending will celebrate sisterhood, welcome a new baby (babies) to earth and honor mother. It is unlike a baby shower, as it's focus is on the mothers journey to motherhood. "
-Melissa Espy- Mueller
"Just as a tree grows best when anchored firmly in the earth, so can a pregnant mother feel strong and capable when supported by a sisterhood of nurturing friends ."
- April Lussier
My blessing way was phenomenal. I cannot stop thinking about it. There was so much love in the room. My sister friend Melissa, who is the ultimate doula, hosted this event for me. In attendance were Melissa, Autumn, Kemba, Jenny, Susie, Whitney, Kate, my mom and my mother in law.
Everyone brought a flower with them and put it in a vase. I loved that everyone choose something different and the arrangement turned out gorgeous!
Melissa had a henna artist come and we were all able to choose a henna for ourselves. I went first and choose to get the words "strong" and " brave" on the insides of my wrists. I choose the word strong because I need to remain strong during these last few weeks of pregnancy. I have come so far and there are days that I feel my strength dwindling. This reminds me of how far I have come and that I have been blessed with more than I could have ever prayed or hoped for. I choose brave because after my miscarriage in November, Melissa, Jenny and I met at La Duni and Melissa gave me a bracelet that had the word brave on it. She reminded me that though I was hurting, I was brave. I was brave to endure the pain, both physically and emotionally, and I was brave to have hope for the future. That touched my heart in ways that words could never express and truly meant the world to me. So brave seemed very fitting. I am brave to have pushed through multiple fertility treatments, for suffering the loss of my first unborn child, for having faith and hope that someday, someway, I would become a mother. Brave is appropriate now as I face delivery and not knowing if I will be delivering vaginally or by c/s, or when it will all happen. Brave as we may have to stay in the NICU for a while. Brave as we bring these two sweet boys home and figure out the ropes. And brave as I go back to work and have to leave them in someone else's hands. The list could go on and on for both of these, but I love the words I choose and I love having them as my constant reminders.
My henna's!!!
Kate getting her henna
Everyone choose different hennas and they all turned out gorgeous. Some got designs, some got words, some got words and designs, and my mom, who doesn't usually venture outside of her box, actually got one. She got the boys initials, K<3P on her ankle. Love!!!!!!
While we were taking turns with our henna's, the girls were working on a prayer flag for me. Everyone had been asked to bring their favorite quote, scripture or thought with them. I will cherish my prayer flag forever. Currently, it is strung across my fireplace and I read it about a half a dozen times a day. When I go into labor, I can bring it with me and hang it in my room for affirmation and positive thoughts.
We then ate and let me tell you, the food was scrumptious. There was a strawberry spinach salad, an incredibly delicious kale salad, fruit, hummus and artichoke dips, and yummy little sandwiches. The highlight was the dessert. Melissa had gotten little petite fours from Casa Linda Bakery. But what made them more special was what was on top, rainbows, because these boys are my rainbow babies.
What is a rainbow baby?
Urban dictionary is usually used to look up vulgar things but in this particular matter, they nailed it. Thanks UD.
We gathered in a circle and each woman presented a bead that was threaded into a bracelet for me to wear while giving birth. It is to remind me that my 'sisters' are with me in spirit and in prayer.
As each woman presented their bead, they explained why they had chosen the bead that they had. Melissa choose the red bead with imperfections. She explained that we are all full of imperfections and there is no perfect mother but we do the best we can. She also brought a yellow cross that symbolized my hope after my miscarriage and that these are my sweet rainbow babies. There is sunshine after the storm. Autumn brought the white/ clear 'eye' bead. She stated that she knew someway, through some venue, I would be a mother. She explained that she doesn't tell every woman struggling with infertility who walks through her doors this, but she truly believed it for me. She explained how babies come through us and babies come to us. We are the vessel in which they get here but ultimately our babies are not ours. They are His. We are their eye. Susie stated that her hubby Will, had helped her pick out her beads :). She had to be a rebel and bring two beads and a spacer. They are the yellow/blue, sparkly blue, and yellow beads. She explained that we had met over 6 years ago and that I truly was like a sister to her. She has watched me grow and blossom and she cherishes our friendship. Susie is like the mom of our little group and she has always had my back. I love this lady. If you can only imagine I was in tears by this point with everyone's kind words and all of the love I was receiving. Next was Whitney. Whitney brought the red and white heart shaped bead. She shared that we had met about 3 years ago when she was a nursing student. She said she was scared and wasn't having a very good experience in labor and delivery, and I approached her and changed her opinion of L&D and she views me as a big sister. Kate brought the crystal in the middle. Her words meant so much to me as we have recently become close. She said that she choose her bead because I am one of the most beautiful people she has met, both inside and out. She said that her bead has many facets that reflect light and that there are many facets to me. She explained that there is a lot more to me than what meets the eye and that I am a lot deeper than many people know. That meant a lot to me because I do feel like I get written off quite often because of the way I look when in reality, there is a lot more to me than a pretty face. Next up was Kemba. Kemba's bead is the orange/red striped bead. She said that she picked a vibrant bead because she thought it fit my personality. She said every time I walk into cafe of life I bring an energy that she feels. She's been along throughout our journey and her hugs are my favorite. Jenny was next and she brought the big red heart. Jenny choose her bead because I am her best friend and I have a "huge heart." She spoke about how much I love her and her family - especially her girls. How we have been through this process together and how we have even been roommates. I love my Jenny and was bawling as she was talking. She truly is the sister I never had. My mom followed Jenny and she choose the blue Swarovski crystal bead. She said that I was the best thing that had ever happened to her and that she loves me and the boys and can't wait to see what the future holds. The pink bead is from my friend Charlotte who wasn't able to make it. The last bead, the clear Swarovski crystal was from my mother in law. She explained that she has known me for years and she loves the happiness that I bring to her son.
I wish that I could have recorded everyone's words so I could play them back during difficult times. I also was not able to capture the magnitude of their kind and loving words in the above paragraph. But their words will live in my heart forever.
We then took a ball of red yarn and started a spiderweb. Melissa explained that in the Buddhist culture this signifies blessings. We are to wear the red yarn to remind ourselves of this and as a reminder to pray for me, Nick and the babies. Everyone went around the room and introduced who they were. For example, my mom said "I am the granddaughter of Octa Collier and Bonnie Thompson. I am the daughter of Betty Joyce and the sister of Debbie, Mary Kay, Beth and Noel. I am the mother to Tiffany, Jenny, and Nikki and I am the TuTu to Pierce, Knox, Drake, Myrick, Charlotte and Caroline." As you introduced yourself, you wrapped the red yarn a few times around your wrists. At the end we all cut the ribbon and tied it to us. After I deliver, I notify everyone and they take it off. I love this so much. I have seen Melissa wearing red yarn around her wrist a few times and have often wondered what it was for. I feel honored to now be the person she is wearing the red yarn for.
Melissa presented me with a sweet gift of a beautiful cross wind chime. I love that the wind chime had two bells on the bottom. One for Pierce and one for Knox. I love the symbolism of a wind chime. Their tones have a healing effect on our body. They help calm our mind and awaken our spirit. There is something about sitting outside on the porch with a cup of coffee in hand and embracing the beauty that God has surrounded us with as the breeze blows and the chimes emit a glorious sound.
My Blessingway was one of the most amazing events I've ever experienced. I walked away feeling loved beyond measure and with my heart full. It renewed my spirit which had been down the past couple of days. The energy has remained with me and I look forward to the day that I too can make someone I love feel as special as I did and still do.
Thank you ladies. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Thank you for your love and support. I love each and every one of you and will be the mother I am meant to be because of each of you. I love you sisters.
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